The lack of all-consuming fire
I didn’t get to cane someone today.
That, in and of itself, is not that surprising. Most days I don’t cane anyone. Today was supposed to be different however. I am visiting a town where I have a lovely sometimes playmate and this mischevious pixie had sent me a Christmas present - The Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning. The clever young woman had heard about how excited I was over my new cane, and decided to help. (I do so like the helpful ones.)
However, I have been leveled by a rather nasty flu while here, and while better, am far from recovered. Additionally, this was not purely set up as a play date, and fooling around, snuggling, and sex were on the menu as well.
Thing is, I barely felt up for any of it save the snuggling. I’d like to think my body was warring between "cute naked girl snuggling me" and "still feeling achy and sick" but I sometimes wonder if it is just that I don’t really think I have a sex drive on par with most people’s. I rarely ever have that kind of consuming desire to take someone, that need to throw them against a wall and ravish. It just… isn’t that common. To hear my friends talk, though, I am something of an exception. Passion is a rarity for me. I can enjoy, and I do, playing with people I like but lust… lust seems something I am only fleetingly accustomed to.
So in a desire to connect, we used up all our time we could have played with canes with. To be honest, I am not sure how disappointed I am with this. It is possible I was just not really up for anything intense at all, and caning would have suffered the same sort of dispassionate interest. I don’t really know. I have felt somewhat disconnected this whole trip, having little interest to play at any of the parties I have gone to. I may just be stressed from my current state of unemployment.
But in the end, I didn’t get to cane someone today, and I think I am in fact somewhat disappointed.
Even despite my well-known biases, I think connecting is far more important than caning. When you are less stressed, perhaps, you will find opportunities to do both. In the meantime, you should enjoy what you, and your poor wrung body, want.
On a separate note, I don’t know if “your friends” and “most people” belong in the same thought process. I think that out of a certain circle of my friends, most of the people I know would consider the desire to throw someone up against the wall and ravish them an extraordinarily rare desire. I suspect most people are happy with (or prefer) a more companionable cuddly sexuality rather than all consuming lust attacks. And everyone should have more cuddling in their life. It’s like a food group.
Comment by Rona — December 30, 2007 @ 10:34 pm
That is a good point about “my friends”, nonetheless I do think it seems it is a more common occurance among people than in myself.
As for cuddle, I love cuddle. Big fan. I am wondering if this has to do with the rarity of my sex life. With it so uncommon and often with people I have to travel to see and don’t see often, I wonder if I feel it needs to be intense to make up for lack of time.
Comment by Victor Alcazar — December 30, 2007 @ 11:05 pm
*nod* I can see that. You, by the way, are a grade A+ cuddler, even if you don’t come with detachable arms. It’s one of the things I like about you since I am a cuddling whore. And although it feeds into my desire to jump you every time you’re in the room it’s also entirely separate
. You have the cuddle-fu.
Comment by Rona — December 31, 2007 @ 1:55 am
I would not presume to argue with a cuddling whore about the level of cuddle-fu I may possess.
Comment by Victor Alcazar — December 31, 2007 @ 12:49 pm