Flavours of Pain
This past weekend I had an interesting insight into how I process pain. I was having knives run over me by two lovely women. They were playing an interesting game of "find the buttons on Victor’s body" (most of mine seem fairly obvious and close to bones - there a couple that are dramatically more effective than others, though) when one then raked my torso with her nails. Raked might not be the best word, it may have been a bit more of a digging into the flesh and pulling.
It hurt. A lot. It hurt in a way that made me scream ow, and flinch in the ropes. It made me unhappy.
I like sensation. A lot. It makes me happy, and makes me exclaim noises that seem to amuse those who enjoy making me make noises. This applies on both sides of my switchiness, as I also like making others exclaim those noises as well.
I am not a masochist. I know masochists, I have played with masochists, and let me tell you, I am no masochist. (Nor am I an algophiliac.)
She apologized, and going back to knives I started to feel overstimulated. At least I thought that at the time, and asked for no more than 10 minutes; but in retrospect it was not so much overstimulation as the way I was processing the knives changed. My tormentors agreed to 10 minutes, intending to take full measure of that time, and then about 30 seconds later, I got bit, hard, in the leg. This was also Unpleasant Hurt.
I reacted badly.
I kneed the biter in the head.
I was tied, so got no solid contact. But that was it and I wanted out. I normally like being bitten. Or rather, I like having been bitten, especially big meaty bites like that. (I tend to like the after effects of having been bitten more than the being bitten itself - this is similar to how I like being pierced.) But while usually bites are a good thing, and indeed I have a run of pretty bite marks down my back from that evening - this was simply intolerable.
I can only chalk it up to something about the way I process pain. It seems pain is like a menu of flavours, and some go together in my head and some don’t. Knife on top of piercings? - A fine match of strong red with a full-flavoured main course. Biting on top of knifing? - Chocolate milk poured in my soup.
As I said, I am neither an algophiliac nor a masochist. I don’t process pain as pleasure and hurting me doesn’t want to make me fuck you. (It doesn’t mean I won’t want to fuck you afterwards, but it isn’t a button that makes me "hot".) That wasn’t new for me.
What was new was learning I combine different pains differently. Interestingly, I have heard (and have played with bottoms for whom this is true) that switching a sensation helps some people process better, shifting from one type of pain to another prevents them from being overstimulated. This was specifically mentione for sting and thud. Since it has been a long time since I was hit, I really don’t know how that would work on me. Perhaps sting/thud go together well in my case. But knife/bite didn’t. Really didn’t. It is something I am going to have to remember to keep in mind next time I am topping someone.
Of course, I shouldn’t assume everyone is wired the way I am, as I know some who a bite after that would be bliss. Indeed, assuming people are wired the way you are is almost invariably a recipe for disaster. And maybe another day in another way that combo would work. But it certainly seems that this weekend I am not someone who likes different styles of pain layered on top of other pain.
Victor, that was a fascinating post (and I learned a new word! This always makes me happy). While what you described would be wonderful pain for me, it sounds like you were, indeed, extremely unhappy. Isn’t it interesting how different people process?
Out of curiousity, did you safe-word? Or did you suffer through the whole ten minutes?
xx Dee
Comment by Curvaceous Dee — January 16, 2008 @ 12:40 am
Dee (the curvaceous one since there are now two here), I did safeword. I see I didn’t in fact make that clear. Kneeing in the head was viewed (correctly) as safe wording. Also, I then asked to be let out.
And yes, I know people for whom that would have been delicious pain for, too. This was not a case of anyone doing anything wrong, either. Just.. not right for that context. (Hopefully I have made that clear.)
I am glad to have taught you a new word. (I can guess which one it is.)
Comment by Victor Alcazar — January 16, 2008 @ 4:32 am
If you guess algophilia, you’d be right. Love it; keeping it
Thanks for the clarification - I’m glad they saw it as a safe word and stopped.
xx (Curvy)Dee
Comment by Curvaceous Dee — January 16, 2008 @ 8:59 am
I guessed right. (And it is a lovely word, taught to me by Angular Dee.)
You’re welcome. I safe worded by asking to stop. (Unless there is a reason to make “no” and “stop” not have their normal meaning, then I expect someone to stop when I ask them.)
Comment by Victor Alcazar — January 16, 2008 @ 9:56 am
Sugasm #115 | The best of this week’s sex blogs
Aradia Ardor courtesy of My Fetish Diary.
Sugasm #115
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #116? Submit a link to your best post of…
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